WHAT'S THAT NOISE? OH, MANIFESTO SHREDDING!

During election campaigns, politicians fall over themselves to declare long lists of promises and pledges, jumping on each and every bandwagon that passes their way. Anything for a vote.

Candidates are suddenly generous with imaginary cash to fund don't-hold-your-breath projects that they hope will seduce the electorate into thinking that they are nice, kindly, decent, honest, honourable and truthful folks, and we ordinary dumbos should be ashamed of ourselves for questioning and lampooning their integrity and intentions.

But, and let's not kid ourselves, we all know how this plays out.

Once in power, manifestos are shredded, promises and pledges are consigned to the dustbin and politicians cast away their sensible shoes and opt for flip-flops.

The excuses flow. "Oh, things are worse than we thought. We would love to do all that stuff we spoke about but it's not that easy what with threats to the panda and the price of fish. Sorry folks but we have to do what we have to do. Thanks for your vote, by the way. (Snigger.)"

Perhaps election manifestos should be legally binding. If you vote for something, then that something should be delivered. Otherwise, politicians will play us for saps and ignore us once the ballot boxes have been stacked away until the next time.

Any elected representative who breaks a manifesto commitment should be locked up for five years. Five years in power or five years in the nick for being a liar, a thieving, vote-stealing toe rag, a conman/woman, etc, etc.

This taking-us-for-idiots political chicanery is part of the reason why a substantial number of eligible voters don't bother to make the journey to the polling station. I'm not talking here about the lazy oiks who couldn't care less about anything. I'm talking about people who would love to be encouraged to vote by principled politicians who have every sincere and genuine intention to deliver what they say they will deliver. 

Over the decades, our trust and respect for politicians has grown wafer thin, and they have only themselves to blame. And, actually, they rely on electorate apathy. God forbid 100% turnouts! That would wobble their collies!!

Remember, the campaigners only really care about us when they are campaigning. Thereafter, we are pretty powerless and not that important to governments.

Come on politicians, do what you say you'll do.

Must stop now. Thinking of porkies, a pig just flew by.